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John Kerry wants a new plane

Apparently the current Boeing 757 isn’t good enough for Lurch Heinz aka John Kerry. Poor John Kerry even said the hardest thing that happens in a given day is having to fly commercial. Don’t you just feel so sorry for Lurch? Even with all his money from the Heinz empire, he’s got it so tough.

John Kerry wants a new plane
John Kerry wants a new plane

Kerry has hinted that he would like a new plane to replace the aging U.S. Air Force jet that has taken him more than 500,000 miles to 55 countries since he became secretary of state in February last year.

A State Department spokeswoman brushed off the hassle of the latest breakdown, but diplomatically suggested that there are serious implications in a dangerous world.

“Secretary Kerry himself was quick to point out that if the hardest thing that happens in a given day is that you have to fly commercial — your life is pretty good,” said Jen Psaki, the spokeswoman.

However, she added, Kerry makes sensitive phone calls on a commercial plane, not even in the rarified air pumped into first class.